Steph (stepharooni) wrote,

the questions continue to fog my ability to be productive

I cause stomach aches that I only end up choking on in the end...kharma's a bitch and so am I sometimes...I'm also listening to the Cure which can be exactly that, the remedy to all my problems and at the same time just make them all more dramatic and put them to music so they echo in my head more easily...if I sound depressed it's because I am sometimes and also because it's a way to mock anything that's real...these are just the words I type as they come out of my head where I didn't even know I had stored them in the first place. I wish I could sound happy, fresh, and alive but life's not like that all the time...there are those dead moments when the leaves are falling and everything is so uncertain...I can breathe now, but I'm still thinking about it and that's how you know everything under the surface is still corrupted with doubt. I think this will pass...tomorrow it will all be different because there will be distraction...disregard...don't pay too much attention, because if you misinterpret it than we're no better off...and I'm still lost, but I'm starting to spy crumbs of the bread I left behind so I could find my way...I'm just not there yet, 'cause I'm left connecting the dots from one to the other while those in between have been eaten, lost, forgotten...I need a good concert with loud music and the ability to sleep in the next morning...I need to know (on my own, all alone, with no voices encouraging me) that I am worth it...where did that go?
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The Cure will definatly corrupt you. let's boycott The Cure.

And yes, you *are* worth it...
hey...thanks dude, you're worth a shit load as well...too bad we don't always realize it (or others for that matter) miss ya kid...we will get together soon...I that the Gap isn't taking up my entire life!
i'm upset with you right now! i miss you steph, you left me all alone
I just couldn't stand it anymore...had to get should too!!
i decided to steal your time card for you, we can burn it together, gabe was telling us the nice insult you put on the jesus, i'm never going to see you anymore, damnit steph
hey hey hey---even though you hate me now and all, do me a favor?? Find out what time Jesus is working next Friday (or who the manager is on Saturday) so I can pick up my check and not run into the man I'd rather think of as Satan (god...he's such a dramatic individual...I really think I hate him) What did Gabe say??? Does Gabe think I'm a total jerk?? As long as Gabe still likes me all is well 'cause if he was the main manager I'd still work there, Jesus is just an asshole and needs to realize that...ugh...done with it....we'll still hang out (it's not like you're constantly working or anything)
i could never hate you steph, everyone ask me if you left, and i have to pull them to the side and explain it to them, annabell says "hi" to you. jesus left at 3 today, and he's not supposed to be working tomorrow. that's going to suck if you run into him on the el stop or around here. gabe doesn't think you're a jerk, he misses you also. he said how jesus asked you to be professional and give a two weeks notice and you said it wasn't a professional establishment. he still likes you of course. and i actually am working more now, cause they gave me a lot of your hours. i wanna see you soon, i've got steph withdraws